Interview with Invader Zim
by Invader Elze
Summary: Hello, This is just an interview that I am hosting. NOT A Q&A! The old one was breaking a rule, so this is the new, legal one!
1. the end

Hello, I am here on a sad business. :( I have decided to bin interview with invader Zim. Actually, it will still be going on, but It won't be interactive or chat-script. I would really like to give a huge thank you to Dark Skitty Power. Who gave me this complement:

-The first script format fic that I read was one called Interview with Invader Zim. I could not stop reading, and I was enchanted by the way Invader Elze recreated the characters and added their humorous, idiotic, and witty remarks. I searched for more, read a few, and loved them.

There will be the same characters and random humorous thing, but sending dares and questions in are a big no. That means all things interactive shall be destroyed in a puff of pixilated smoke; yes, that means invader idol, too. I will also make Elise less of a Mary-Sue. No one called her that, but I was just waiting for that moment when some one would. Also, can you people PLEASE check out my other stories? 100, stinking reviews; IT DOESN'T DESERVE THAT! ! If I did do invader idol here would be the results:

1: Dark Skitty Power

2: Invader Nav

3: Kir (Gazmrules)

I think I might also bring in my cat Ignotus. Thank you again Dark Skitty Power, and I shall delete the other chapters soon, good night everyone!


	2. Welcome Stranger

"**Welcome Stranger,**

To this week's INTERVIEW WITH INVADER ZIM!" Elise shouted with all of her might. In the distance you could see 11 people (and aliens) bound and gagged. The ropes and dirty socks disappeared as she finished.

"WE ENDED THE CHAPTER-"

"AND NEXT THING WE KNOW-"

"ELEVEN NINJAS SURROUNDED US-"

"AND STUFFED US INTO SACKS!"

"I'LL BE TASTED THOSE SOCKS FOR WEEKS!"

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

"I HAVE NINJA-PHOBIA NOW!"

"I NEARLY WET MY UNIFORM!"

"Huh... GET AWAY FROM ME THEN!"

"I SAID ALMOST, ZIM!"

"STILL... GO AWAY!"

"**SHUT UP! ! ! ! ! ! ! !" **She roared. Everyone was quiet.

"Okay, this is the first chapter of the NEW Interview with Invader Zim." said Elise, "So until you settle down, we can't start. So, this one's a bit different; because every chapter, there is going to be a new theme. Along with a game of sorts, and a few surprises. This one is all about emotions... so I have one of them for each of you!" Everyone groans. "Here they are;

Zim is courage.

Dib is justice.

Gir is insanity.

Gaz is revenge.

Red is envy.

Purple is annoyed.

Lard Nar is happiness.

Tak is love.

Scoodge is depression.

Mimi is pain and betrayal.

Membrane is wisdom.

"I love it!" Tak said adoringly.

"This is stupid." Purple said irritably.

"Is it wise for Gaz to be revenge?" Membrane said.

Mimi said nothing.

"At least your not envy." Red said jealously.

"whatever." said Scoodge.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Gir screamed.

"I'M SO HAPPY!" Nar shrieked.

"I'll do it!" Zim said bravely.

"Yah, but only if your willing to pay the price." Gaz said manically.

"What are you?" Dib asked.

Elise beamed with pride. "I'm leadership, as I'm the host." she said, "and I also have a good poem to go along with the momentum nicely."

The Twelve Brothers:

Evil is the one who takes but does not earn.

Guilt is the one who pays dearly in Evil's turn.

Surprise is the one who hides in the dark.

Fear is the one who knows Surprises leave a mark.

Happiness is the one brighter then the rest.

Pain is the one who puts Happiness to the test.

Wisdom is the one who thinks before he acts.

Greed is the one who knows Wisdom's what he lacks.

Love is the one most liked by their mother.

Death is the one who knows he's Evil's brother.

Life is the one who keeps secrets and hides.

Justice is the one who can tell when life lies.

Everyone nodded with approval. Only one person had anything to say about it; "Why do you like poems so badly? What do you have to gain? Or to _lose_? And the mechanization of this almost- emo poem _completely elude me_!" said the mystery person.

"I have one more poem," she said furiously,

"_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_Please go away,_

_OR I WILL END YOU! ! ! !"_

Everyone clapped and noodled- "Wait a minute!" Dib yelled, "Noodled! What does that mean?"

Elise shrugged, "It is a verb, check it." But I need everyone to be serious for a moment." everyone went quiet. **"Nick has came out with a new Invader Zim DVD; Operation Doom. If enough people buy it, they will give invader Zim another two seasons. The time deadline is February, 22, 2011. PLEASE, I BEG YOU, PLEASE GET IT!"** Dib could see tears forming in her eyes, she wasn't kidding, she wanted people to do this badly. "Please, most people want this more then almost anything in the universe. Including me, please."


	3. Music

"HELLO RANDOM READERS OF THE IZ FANDOM UNIVERSE!" Elise yelled, much like the opening person at a wrestling match. That was a good metaphor, because wrestling was a traditional part of her story.

"ARE YOU READY TO ROOOOOOOCK?" The crowd cheered in answer. Suddenly, a tall Irken with a Stratocaster was pushed onto the stage. He had black makeup, and long black hair that hid his eyes. His antennas were ridiculously long, scraping the floor, and creating a fantastic array of multicolor sparks.

Elise held up her hand, "Well too bad." Ten ninjas, each a different color, swooped down on vines and impaled the Irken with silver stakes.

"I was going to sing Queen…" said a dying voice, and then the Irken exploded in a poof of hydrogen and Nitrogen.

"Awww, Helsing." Elise sounded very disappointed, "I love Queen. One of my favorite songs is Bohemian Rhapsody. Shame." Elise shrugged and clapped he hands. The Ninjas were before her at once.

"Ninjas! Fetch me the contestants!"

****Meanwhile in a small, crowded, dark closet somewhere off set…****

"Zim, get your SCUMMY MEAT out of my EYE!" Tak screamed.

"Get your DISGUSTING existence out of mine, Corn-beast!" Zim raved madly.

"_GAZ_, quit twisting my arm!" Dib whined.

"Get your weird gravity-defying hair out of my mouth!" Said a muffled shriek.

"MIMI! WANNA PLAY TAG? ? ?" Gir didn't realize the very important problem; NO ONE COULD MOVE.

Mimi said nothing.

"My head hurts!" Red and Purple yelled simultaneously, both having to crouch to avoid hitting the ceiling.

"Where on VORT is Scoodge!" Lard Nar was the only one to realize, or care, that Scoodge was missing.

Professor Membrane lay unconscious on the floor.

Suddenly the locked door was opened, and they all tumbled out into the hall way.

***on stage***

10 very strange people in chains heaved themselves up onto the stage. 4 of them were green, one of them was greyish blue, and all the others looked, more or less, human. As soon as they were all on the stage, the chains. They didn't dare run though, because of those… _horrible_… ninjas.

"I've decided on the theme for today!" she smiled mischievously, "Music! "

Sighs of relief spread through the small croud.

"Each of you will be assigned a band or singer, and given a list of songs you can sing. Each of you MUST sing a song from your band. Here they are,

Zim is Fall Out Boy.

Dib is Blink 182.

Red is simple plan.

Purple is" Elise snorted, "Justin Beiber."

Hundreds of boos escaped the crowd, and Purple was rain down upon by rotten fruit and water bottles.

"OKAY PEOPLE! Continuing…

Tak is t.A.T.u.

Lard Nar is Queen.

Gaz is Eli Young.

Membrane, when he wakes up, he will be We Are Scientists.

Gir is Harry and The Potters

Mimi will be given temporary speech, and will be Michelle Branch.

Scoodge will be… Taking today off."

"Who is this boy, and what did he fall out of?" Zim said confused.

"YES!" Dib loved Blink 182, his favorite song was Aliens Exist.

"I've already had my dose of simple Plan for THIS story." Red had been forced to sing simple plan before, and he hated it.

"ARGHHHHH!" Purple was on the ground pounding the floor with his head, holding his ears.

"I HATE main stream music. All of it. No exceptions." Tak muttered.

"I like the Queen!" Lard Nar enjoyed the song 'We are The Champions'.

Gaz sat, playing her game in silence.

"Expelliarmus!" Gir had drawn a scar on his forehead, found a robe and glasses, and was waving a stick. There was no doubt that Elise, who was a great fan of Harry Potter, had supplied those things.

"I can finally talk!" said a robotic, feminine voice no one knew.

"Okay! I have downloaded all the songs from your band into your brain, no need to thank me, now choose it!" They all did.

"Zim is first… Zim!" Elise shouted, "Up here!"

"Earth…Worm… Baby…_THING_!" Zim grumbled. Then he sighed. _Let's get this over with._

He grabbed the mike and the lyrics, and the music turned on.

"I'm gonna make it bend and break

(It sent you to me without wings)

Say a prayer, but let the good times roll

In case God doesn't show

(Let the good times roll, let the good times roll)

And I want these words to make things right

But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life

"Who does he think he is?"

If that's the worst you've got better put your fingers back to the keys

One night and one more time

Thanks for the memories

Even though they weren't so great

He tastes like you only sweeter

One night yeah, and one more time

Thanks for the memories

Thanks for the memories

See he tastes like you only sweeter

I'm looking forward to the future

But my eyesight is going bad

And this crystal ball

It's always cloudy except for, except for

When you look into the past, look into the past

One night stand

One night stand

One night and one more time

Thanks for the memories

Even though they weren't so great

{ From: . }

He tastes like you only sweeter

One night yeah, and one more time

Thanks for the memories

Thanks for the memories

See he tastes like you only sweeter

They say I only think in the form of

Crunching numbers in hotel rooms

Collecting page six lovers

Get me out of my mind

Gets you out of those clothes

I'm a liner away from

Getting you into the mood

One night and one more time

Thanks for the memories

Even though they weren't so great

He tastes like you only sweeter

One night yeah, and one more time

Thanks for the memories

Thanks for the memories

See he tastes like you only sweeter

One night and one more time

(One more night, one more time)

Thanks for the memories

Even though they weren't so great

He tastes like you only sweeter

One night yeah, and one more time

(One more night, one more time)

Thanks for the memories

Thanks for the memories

See he tastes like you only sweeter…"

The music Ended.

Elise applauded, "Big Head, your turn!"

Dib happily went to the mike,

"Hey mom there's something in the backroom

I hope it's not the creatures from above

You used to read me stories

As if my dreams were boring

We all know conspiracies are dumb

What if people knew that these were real (these were real)

I'd leave my closet door open all night

I know the CIA would say

What you hear is all hearsay

I wish someone would tell me what was right

Up all night long

And there's something very wrong

And I know it must be late

Been gone since yesterday

I'm not like you guys

I'm not like you

I am still the skeptic yes you know me (yes you know me)

Been best friends and will be till we die (till we die)

I got an injection

Of of fear from the abduction

My best friend thinks I'm just telling lies

Alright...

Up all night long

And there's something very wrong

And I know it must be late

Been gone since yesterday

I'm not like you guys

I'm not like you

Dark and scary, ordinary, explanation

Information, nice to know ya, paranoia

Where's my mother, biofather...

Up all night long

And there's something very wrong

And I know it must be late

Been gone since yesterday

I'm not like you guys...

Twelve majestic lies..."

The Music cut again, but this time no one clapped. Dib grumbled.

Elise smirked. She was about to tell Red to get up here, but he was already up there. The music started.

"Can anybody hear me?

Am I talking to myself?

My mind is running empty

In the search for someone

Else

Who doesn't look right through me

It's all just static in my

Head

Can anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?

Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut

Sending SOS from this tiny box

And I

Lost all signal when I lifted up

Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot

Can I please come down (come down)

Cause I'm tired of drifting round and round

(And round) Can I please

Come down?

I'm deaf from all the silence

Is it something that I've done?

I know that there are millions

I can't be the only

One who's so disconnected

It's so different in my head.

Can anybody tell me

Why I'm lonely like a satellite?

Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut

Sending SOS from this tiny box

And I

Lost all signal when I lifted up

Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot

Can I please come down (come down)

Cause I'm tired of drifting round and round

(And round) Can I please

Come down?

Now I lie awake and scream in a zero gravity

And it's starting to weigh down on me.

Let's abort

This mission now

Can I please come down?

So tonight I'm calling all astronauts

Calling lonely people that the

World forgot

If you hear my voice come pick me up

Are you out there?

'Cause you're all I've got!

Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut

Sending SOS from this tiny box

And

I lost all signal when I lifted up

Now I'm stuck out here and the world

Forgot

Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut

Sending SOS from this tiny box

To

The lonely people that the world forgot Are you out there?

Cause you're all I've got!

Can I

Please come down? (please please please)

Cause I'm tired of drifting round and round.

Can I please come

Down?"

"Let's move along!" Elise knew this was going to be a long chapter. "Purple!"

The Music started, and everyone put on their precautionary earmuffs.

"How come I don't get one?" Purple whined.

"Sorry, Can't here you!"

Purple sighed and started.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm sorry there has been a few technical difficulties!

b um, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Okay… Tak's turn!"

"UGG." This song wasn't her first choice.

"Can you see me now?

Can you see me now?

All this weeping in the air

Who can tell where it will fall?

Through floating forests in the air

'Cross the rolling open sea

Blow a kiss, I run through air

Leave the past, find nowhere

Floating forests in the air

Clowns all around you

Clowns that only let you know

Where you let your senses go

Clowns all around you

It's a cross I need to bear

All this black and cruel despair

This is an emergency

Don't you hide your eyes from me

Open them and see me now

Can you see me now?

Can you see me now?

Can you see?

Can you see?

See me here in the air

Not holding on to anywhere

But holding on so beware

I have secrets I won't share

See me here pushing you

If I then deny I do

Contemplate or wish away

If I ask you not to stay

Clowns that only let you know

Where you let your senses go

Clowns all around you

It's a cross I need to bear

All this black and cruel despair

This is an emergency

Don't you hide your eyes from me

Open them and see me now"

Lard Nar walked up to the stage and grabbed the mike.

"I've paid my dues

Time after time

I've done my sentence

But committed no crime

And bad mistakes

I've made a few

I've had my share of sand kicked in my face

But I've come through

(And we mean to go on and on and on and on)

We are the champions my friend

And we'll keep on fightin' till the end

We are the champions, We are the champions

No time for losers 'cause we are the champions

Of the world

I've taken my bows

And my curtain calls

You brought me fame and fortune and everything that

goes with it

I thank you all

But it's been no bed of roses

No pleasure cruise

I consider it a challenge before the whole human race

And I ain't gonna lose

We are the champions my friend

And we'll keep on fighting till the end

We are the champions

We are the champions

No time for losers

'cause we are the champions

Of the world

We are the champions my friend

And we'll keep on fighting till the end

We are the champions

We are the champions

No time for losers

'cause we are the champions."

Elise cracked up with laughter. Lard Nar looked confused. Elise whispered something into his looked agast.

"You're kidding!" He said in his British accent.

Elise shook her head, "Um… Gaz. You're up."

Gaz gave Elise a dirty look and started to sing.

"She's got a bumper like a billboard

Covered in stickers of her favorite band

She's got a handful of records that she turns to

When she needs to land

She's a saturday night parade through the streets

and all eyes come to see including me

She carries memories around like souvenirs down in her

pockets

She should have let some go by now but can't seem to

drop it

Says forgiveness ain't nothing but a lifeless tire on

the shoulder of her soul

That never rolls

Chours:

For as much as she stumbled she's runnin'

For as much as she runs she's still here

Always hoping to find something quicker than heaven

To make the damage of her days disappear

[ From: .]

Just like Guinevere

Just like Guinevere

She don't hold onto nothin' new for very long

Yeah she writes you in as just one more tale

and then you're gone

'Cause she once fell hard 'cause she dropped her guard

And no one gets to stay it's just too late

Repeat Chorus

For as much as she stumbled she's runnin'

For as much as she runs she's still here

For as much as she stumbled she's runnin'

For as much as she runs she's still here

Always hoping to find something quicker than heaven

To make the damage of her days disappear

Just like Guinevere

Just like Guinevere

Lean into me Guinevere

Be mine tonight Guinevere"

Everyone clapped very hard as she returned to her seat; Dib and Elise were whistling and Zim and Lard Nar were feebly attempting to whistle. Unfortunately, their body simply didn't work that way. Membrane stirred.

"Membrane! Get up here! You're singing Dinosaurs by We Are Scientists!" He stumbled up the steps and grabbed the microphone.

"This all has to end, and I oughtta know.

But who could predict the force of the throw?

It helps to pretend to not care at all,

the truth is that I could not want it more.

Soon they will come and pass us by,

a shift in tone, and rise in tide.

To learn to swim, or learn to die,

Are choices I have been left with.

The bigger the break the harder the fall

The hits in this case are too close to call

The stress and the strain are starting to show

This all has to end, and I oughtta know

Soon they will come and pass us by,

a shift in tone, and rise in tide.

To learn to swim, or learn to die,

(To learn to swim or learn to die)

To cast a stone, or cast aside

Soon they will come and pass us by,

a shift in tone, and rise in tide.

(Are the two choices that I)

To learn to swim, or learn to die,

Are choices I have been left with.

It's natural selection,

it's natural selection,

it's natural selection,

so I suggest that we just stop."

Elise nodded, "Very fitting!" She looked at Mimi then the stage; she got the message and ran up to the mike.

"Of all the things I believe in

I just want to get it over with

tears from behind my eyes

but I do not cry

Counting the days that past me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul

Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old

Looks like I'm starting all over again

The last three years were just pretend and I say

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to everything I thought I knew

You were the one I love

The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes

And it seems like I can't live a day without you

Closing my eyes till you chase my thoughts away

To a place where I am blinded by the light but it's not right

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to everything I thought I knew

You were the one I loved

The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Ohhh yeah

It hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time

I want whats yours and I want whats mine

I want you but I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to everything I thought I knew

You were the one I loved

The one thing that I tried to hold on to

The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to everything I thought I knew

You were the one I loved

The one thing that I tried to hold on to

We the stars fall and I lie awake

You're my shooting star"

Everyone was shocked; her voice was absolutely beautiful. Gir ran up and hugged her. Elise smiled, "Typical GaMr…" Then she was rudely interrupted by Wizard Rock.

"Are you scared to walk through the hallways?

Are you worried that the spiders run away?

Are you petrified

Of being petrified?

Are we going to have to save the school again?

We've got to save Giny Weasley from the basilisk

We've got to save the school from that unseen horror

We've got to save Ginny Weasley from the basilisk

We've got to save the school agian

It's been freaking out all the kids

It even took out Miss Noris

Ate up the film in Collin's camera

And petrified our friend

Hermione Granger

We've got to save Giny Weasley from the basilisk

We've got to save the school from that unseen horror

We've got to save Ginny Weasley from the basilisk

We've got to save the school agian

You can't take my best friend's sister

You ca'nt take my best friend's sister

You can't take my best friend's sister

And get away with it

We've got to save Ginng Weasley from the basilisk

We've got to save the school from that unseen horror

We've got to save giny weasley from the basilisk

We've got to save the school again

We've got to save Ginny Weasley from the basilisk

We've got to save the school from that unseen horror

We've got to save Ginny Weasley from the basilisk

We've got save the school again

We've got to save the school again"

"That's a wrap everyone!" Elise shouted, then she looked at her computer, "Holy Poop, 22 pages!"

"Goodbye my very patient readers, AND remember; this story isn't dead! It's really _mostly _dead!"

**THE END.**


	4. Field Trip

"Welcome to another weather-defying day at Interview with Invader Zim!" Elise shouted to the large Irken/ human/ fan-girl audience. She turned to the eleven hostag- _guests _sitting bound and gagged to squashy armchairs.

"Guess what? Today we're going on a _field trip_!" Muffled swear words could be heard from the guests, "Oops!" Elise snapped her fingers and the ropes and duct tape vanished. "Heh, heh... sorry guys. Anyway to answer your non-asked questions, we will be going ski and snowboarding!"

"But it's the middle of August!" Dib said confused.

Elise chuckled, "Well, in the real world it is, I suppose. But this is Fanfiction-land! I could make daisies beat up Elvis if I wanted to." Elise paused to look at that image, "Anyway, I need to know who's done this before, and who snowboarding or skiing. Let's start with Dib and Gaz."

Dib looked excited, "I'll ski, and I've done this loads of times!"

"I'll snowboard. And I will _destroy_ you with it." No one questioned her further.

"What is this... skiing? Does it hurt?" Red asked nervously.

Elise thought about this, "Well, It hurts like a living heck if you land wrong from a jump, and snow would usually be really painful for Irkens... But I can get around the that. So... Irkens, Ski or Snowboard?"

"Zim shall Ski, and he will do it miraculously!"

"I'll snowboard. But I won't be happy about it." Tak said, clearly annoyed with the entire concept.

"I will ski, but Red will snowboard!" Purple said enthusiastically.

"I will-" Scoodge started, but Elise interrupted, "Who the hell are you?"

"What? I'm Scoodge! The one you hate!" He yelled.

"I've never seen you before in my life. Ninjas, take the chub-monster away!" Inside, Elise was on the floor pounding the floor and laughing; but she kept her appearance sincere. Instantly Ninjas surrounded Scoodge, beat him up, then dragged him to the dumpster in the back.

"Okay, where were we? Oh yes... Lard Nar, Gir, Mimi... tell us your choice or I shall fetch the Ninjas again!" Elise shouted.

"I wanna SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Gir screamed.

"I will snowboard." Mimi said, without even looking at Elise.

"Considering that snowboarding is basically skateboarding with snow- and skateboarding is for human punks-, I'd rather ski." Said Lard Nar.

"Wow." Elise said disapprovingly, "That is such a horrible generalization. You stink. Anyway... TO THE EQUIPMENT STATION!" She clapped her hands and they were no longer on set, but in a large, warm room filled with all different types of skis, snowboards, boots, poles, hats, coats, gloves, and snow-pants. There were tons of benches surrounding a big fireplace.

"Okay everyone!" Elise shouted above all the excited talking, "I have given the... person... the measurements for your skis/ snowboards. While you wait, pick out coats, gloves, snow-pants, goggles, and hats. Also, any ski supplies at home will be instantaneously by your side in...3...2...1!" Just on cue, Dib and Gaz's ski/ snowboarding stuff suddenly appeared by them. Everyone scrambled around for the coolest equipment.

"OHHHHH... Zim likes these!" he hold up a pretty decent looking purple coat with darker-purple splotches, and a similar hat.

Lard Nar sported a pretty-darn-awesome-looking combo of a coat and a pair of snow-pants that looked like a Tuxedo, "These are fantastic! And the rose has a hand heater just in case!"

Dib and Gaz appeared in front of them, both wearing professional ski equipment. "I haven't worn these since January!" His stuff was a mixture of different shades of dark blue, with a huge iron-on swollen-eyeball patch on the back. Gaz was behind him, wearing so-purple-it's-black colored snow board gear that gave off the impression that she was going to run you over with her snowboard, and she would like it very well understood that she will enjoy it.

"Hey, look at us!" Red and Purple said simultaneously. Red wore a crimson suit, with a huge Irken emblem on the back, with round goggles that were the same color as his eyes. Purple's was a lot like that, but his had little bits of blue in it, and his goggles were a light blue and the same shape at his eyes. Tak walked in, apparently in a very bad mood.

"Ugg, first she dragged me into this stupid story, now she makes me ski against my will..." she grumbled to herself.

"Hmm... Elise, I don't think this equipment is good." Zim yelled to Elise. She turned around, and saw Zim with his feet in the coat sleeves, and his head sticking out of his pant leg. She groaned and turned to Dib.

"Dib, help Zim with his stuff." She said in a commanding tone. She walked off to check on everyone else. She returned to them ten minutes later to find Zim correctly dressed.

"Okay! Thanks Dib." Elise said, "I just checked on Gir and Mimi. Apparently, they don't want to come any more. Anyway, sorry Irkens and Lard Nar, but you guys will spend the first hour at ski school. Wait here for a few minutes, the teacher will come and get you. Everyone else... TO THE SLOPES!" They waddled out to the ski racks. After they all got their skis/ snowboard on, Gaz immediately left without Dib.

"Awww... I always ski with Gaz!" Dib said disappointedly.

Elise kind-of felt bad for him, "Want to ski with me? I promise to slow down a bit for you!" Dib looked considerably better.

"Thanks!"

Elise smiled, "I hope you like double black diamonds! To the lift!" They sped off to the lift. When they finally arrived at the top of the hill, Dib was so excited he could hardly stand it.

"Okay... we go down Runway, then Sky-rider, then we exit to the terrain park." Elise said, looking at the map.

"Ready... set... GO!" Dib shouted, but Elise had already left, "HEY! That's not fair!" He said as he hurried of after her.

**Ski School**

"I am _INSULTED_ that you pitiful worms are not confident in my ability to slide down mountains!" Zim shouted as the ski instructor showed them the 'Pizza' ("PIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZZZA!" Squealed Gir,) technique.

Tak just shook her head, "Zim, do the world a favor, and _shut the hell up._"

"Yeah, Zim. You've never even skied before, and you probably die if you were skiing with Dib, Gaz, or Elise. Calm down!" Lard Nar explained.

"Zem, I'm just a ski instructor. If you want to be up on the slopes by yourself, you'll have to show me you can ski without plowing into a tree. Anyway, I think you're all ready to go on the green circle hill, "Infinity". Let's go!" They all followed the ski instructor to the chair lift.

"I WANNA GO ON THE BUNNEH!" Gir whined as they were going up. Red and Purple groaned.

When they got of at the top, Zim immediately waddled as fast as he could and shot down the slope.

"WAIT ZIM, YOU HAVE TO TURN OR YOU'LL GO TOO FAST!" Yelled the instructor but it was too late, Zim was already speeding down, not turning in the slightest.

"WOO-HOO!" yelled a young boy's voice from the higher up on the black diamond that it was connected with. Red looked up and saw Elise racing down, with Dib following. She slowed down and stopped next to them, accompanied by Dib.

"Wait a minute, this isn't the terrain park!" Elise said, pulling a map from her pocket, "Ugg, we took a wrong turn at Sky-Rider. Now we're on a stupid green circle."

"Dang." Dib said, then his eyes fund the green blob going down the slope, "Wait a minute... is that _Zim?_"

"Holy crap! If he hits something, he's dead!" She said, "SUPER-AUTHOR-POWERS ACTIVATE!" She said. Suddenly, small rockets appeared on the back of her boots and she raced forwards. It took only a fraction of a second to get there with her rocket-powered-ski-boots.

"ZIM, you're an idiot!" Elise shouted.

"ARGHHHH!"

The rockets suddenly ran out of fuel, and Zim sped ahead. Elise sighed, and time froze. Using her author-powers, she skied down to where Zim was, suspended in time. She removed his skis, and teleported them back to the others. Time resumed.

"ARGHH- Whaaaa?" Zim yelled, obviously confused.

Elise just shook her head, "Zim, you _moron_! You interrupted all of our skiing!" She said angrily.

"Wait... where's Gaz?" Dib asked.

"Van Helsing if I care." Elise said nonchalantly.

A purple jet of matter appeared in front of Dib, and effectively scared the crap out of him.

"Hi, Gaz!" Elise said, clearly hoping she didn't here that last comment.

"We have to leave, and we have to leave now." Gaz said without and emotion. Angry voices could be heard approaching quickly.

Elise pondered what Gaz could have done to get them that angry, "Perhaps you're right." She could she flames and the tops of pitchforks, now. Dib looked nervous and started to back away.

"GET THE PURPLE ONE!" The angry mob shouted. They all ran for their lives.

"What in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter did you _do?_" Elise shouted to Gaz as they ran.

"I pushed a bunch of toddlers off the 'T Bar', and hijacked the snow-mobile." Random mushroom-shaped explosions could be seen from where they were.

"Something tells me you had something to do with that." Gaz just shrugged.


End file.
